


Simply You, Only You

by coffee_ksare



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 25 Lives, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Genderbending, Hwei Lim, M/M, Rule 63, little dialouge???, this turned out waaaay longer than expected, tongari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_ksare/pseuds/coffee_ksare
Summary: 25 Lives of Kageyama and Hinata. Inspired by Tongari's 25 Lives Poem and Hwei Lim's artwork of it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this about four months ago? But due to immense amounts of school work, I couldn't work on it for a while. So I've been writing this bit by bit and I just really wanted to post this as soon as possible after I finished. The editing is probably crap and the story itself is just gigantically long and somewhat trash too, but please, enjoy.

_I. The very first time I remember you, you are blond, and you don’t love me back._

Kageyama’s never known that high school had such a wide variety of clubs. He had always joined the soccer club without taking interest in other clubs. So with his club application form filled out, with his scrawny, yet best handwriting, he walked towards the office as his sports bag dangled around from his shoulder.

As he slid open the office door and was invited with a tackle to his chest from a hurl of blond hurricane. A small, blond student with unruly hair had crashed into him making all his papers flutter to the floor.

“Hinata, I told you not to run!”

The blond simply put his hand to the back of his neck and laughed sheepishly. He bounced up to his feet and helped Kageyama up as well.

“Sorry ‘bout that!”

“It’s fine.”

Both bent down to their knees and picked up the fallen papers: they were sheet music. When all was collected, the blond bolted out of the office like a tornado, shortly after beaming, “Thank you!” at Kageyama, with the brightest smile he’d ever seen.

_II. The next time you are brunette, and you do._

A week ago, the guy who always read next to the window chose to read Ernest Hemmingway’s The Sun Also Rises and yesterday was C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters. When Kageyama entered the library today, he wasn’t seated down where he usually was. He was stretching his arm up and jumping up and down to reach for a book. His chocolate brown hair flopped to the motion of his jumps along with his tie.

Seeing the brunette have trouble, Kageyama walked up towards him and took the book down for him. It was The Strange Library by Murakami Haruki. The shorter boy held the book in his hands carefully and faintly smiled, showing blinding white teeth after a thank you.

They started off with small conversations every day after school and soon, the two become more intimate than just simple friends and Kageyama sees more and more of his blinding smile. Every time he sees it, Kageyama has a flash of reminder of another boy’s shining smile with unruly blond hair, but he can never quite pinpoint who that is.

_III. After a while I give up trying to guess if the colour of your hair means anything,_

He knew that Hinata was a bubbly person who adored being a literal kaleidoscope, thus he’s seen Hinata’s hair be blond, black, brown, orange and even silver, but never red. He had come to school only to be greeted by crimson red touched with electric blue tips; he was speechless.

As he stood still, the “how’s my new hair color?” “Is it okay?” “Do I look good?” had all gone past and over his head. The sole response he could make out from his frozen mouth was, “why red?” A moment of silence engulfed them leaving Hinata to fidget with his hands and flutter his eyes to the floor and then to the sides.

“I wanted a bold color and… red was the first color that came up.”

“Oh. Okay. It looks nice.”

_IV. because even when you don’t exist, I’m always in love with you._

Lately, Kageyama remembers a guy with a huge smile, but he has no clue of who it is. There are times when his chest thumps, yet he doesn’t know why and often, he craves to listen to music – especially jazz tunes.

As of right now, he is tidying up the store with Chet Baker’s “I’ll Remember April” playing on an old CD player in the corner, filling up the background. As he sweeps the dust into one place, the bell on the door rings as the door swings open. Kageyama whips his head back to the door that revealed a customer with blocky glasses and a school bag hung on his shoulder. He stares at him and almost forgets to greet him. The thought of waiting for someone makes his heart crack, but he can’t help but have the mysterious person in his mind.

_V. I remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together,_

How was it that in every school life Kageyama’s been in so far, he’s not very intelligent? Although, in this lifetime, he excels in math, so that was a relief. And as for Hinata, he is an A plus student in history. The two of them are sitting across the table from each other in the library, books sprawled everywhere.

“Hey, what’s the answer to question nine?”

“Meiji period,” Hinata answered.

“What? I thought it was the Edo period?” Kageyama brushed his bangs back with his fingers, confuzzled.

“Kageyama, the start of their periods are like, centuries apart,” Hinata responded, twirling is pencil as he had his cheek mushed into the palm of his hand.

Kageyama lets his pencil roll off his hands, groans and smashes his face into the palms of his hands. Following suit was Hinata who asked him a question about math. It resulted in the same fashion as the latter with history. He really wished these times had lasted multiple lifetimes. Kageyama finally began to realize that even the smallest, simplest of things are to be cherished.

_VI. when you share your secrets and sorrows and hiding places with me._

They have a playground in front of their houses. It is small and creaky due to the old wood getting weaker and weaker with every rainfall, but it is someplace important to Kageyama and Hinata. So of course, the playground is the first place he’d be when he’s feeling down. With his breath puffing and his hands resting on his knees, Kageyama sees his friend sitting under the slide in a tiny ball. Other than his short breaths, he hears sniffles coming from under the slide and he sees a tint of wet sleeves that are under the friend’s face.

“Hinata, are you okay?”

All he got back was sniffles from Hinata’s nose and tear being rubbed away with the back of his hands. Kageyama walked towards his fragile friend as if he were trying to tip-toe across the hallways at home without letting his parents know. He sat down next to him and put a hand on his curled up back.

“Hinata?”

After a pause, a small, weak voice cut through from Hinata’s trembling lips.

“T-they called me sh-short…”

“I heard that we grow until we’re twenty,” Kageyama responded calmly.

Wiping more tears and running noses, the other straightened up and looked at Kageyama with blotchy, red eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah, so let’s go home and watch some Pokemon, okay?”

_VII. I love how you play along to my bad ideas,_

“Kageyama, this is not going to work.”

“Yes, it is. Just trust me.”

Hinata runs a hand though his curly hair and sighs.

“No, is isn’t.”

Kageyama steps towards him, puts his hands on his shoulders, and looks at him straight in the eyes.

“Just run your fastest, jump as high as you can with your eyes closed and I will lift you up in the air for your spin.”

Before Hinata has anytime to retort, a person calls them up to the stage and their group files out. Everyone stands in formation and the music cues. When the time you’re their stunt comes, everyone’s movement gets stiff for a second. Kageyama sees Hinata nod at him and runs towards him at full blast. He jumps like he’s about to touch the sun and Kageyama, in his kneeling position, has his hands out for Hinata’s jump support. When he feels the two second contact between his hands and Hinata’s foot, it is like a spark of energy shocked him. He doesn’t see anything since Hinata’s spinning behind him, but he knows both of them are smiling.

_VIII. before you grow up and realize they’re bad ideas._

Hinata is his friend that always smiles. When he gets a called out by the teacher, he smiles and says he’s sorry. When he receives a bad grade on a test, he smiles and says he’ll try harder next time. When he gets hit by something or somebody, he smiles. No matter what, his lips are curved upwards. However, one day, when both of them sat in their seats, Kageyama sees a slash on Hinata’s cheek and a few bruises on his arms as he stares at the window. Kageyama questions, worriedly, about what happened, but the latter insists he’s fine while beaming at him. The next day, his friend comes to school with more bruises than possible and when he demands answers out of him repeatedly, he comes out and tells him he’s learning boxing.

For a while, Kageyama was convinced with that answer until two months later, a misfortune strikes upon him. Everybody already knows; it’s on the newspapers and the television and the whole school knows since that’s where it took place. When Kageyama enters his homeroom class, everyone stares at him with looks of pity and talks behind his back in a whisper as he takes his seat next to an empty desk. He now stares at the window with no excuse to look at the missing person that sat beside him.

_IX. (And in our times together I have many bad ideas.)_

When Kageyama is in this lifetime, he’s a Doberman Pinscher named Shuu which Hinata got from his love of cream puffs from a neighbourhood brother that babysat him when he was younger. Kageyama has a certain attachment to him whether it was because they grew up together since Hinata’s childhood, or because of something else. But he knows that he must do anything to protect him no matter what.

In the middle of the night, Kageyama hears a rustling through the house that doesn’t belong to anyone’s footstep sounds in the Hinata household. He sees two men dressed in black holding a giant bag. Immediately, he starts barking which gets the attention of the two men and the household. As he barks, he feels Hinata’s presence and gets aggressive, but the two men have also noticed him in the hall. Kageyama sees them pull out a gun and bolts towards them and bites into one of their legs. He tastes metal spread in his mouth and feels the sharp pain of being shot with a bullet. Blood flows down to the floor and so do him, but it doesn’t matter since all he ever wishes is for Hinata to be safe. Yet, he never ends up hearing the sirens that come later in the distance.

_X. When we meet as adults you’re always more discerning, I don’t blame you._

They wake up one morning next to each other on their fluffy bed, covered in their blanket. Kageyama slips out of bed and washes her angular face and stares at her sharp eyes. Her jet black hair that runs down to her back is a mess, but she doesn’t care to brush it for it is too early in the morning for her brain to be working. When she comes out from the washroom, Hinata is sitting up in their bed as he rubs his eyes while yawning. She sits beside him and rests her head on his shoulder and notices something that resembles a slash on the side of his hip.

“Mornin’,” Hinata greets.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” she asks.

“’M fine,” is what comes out of his lips just before they stretch into a yawn.

During his yawn, Kageyama notices a scar at the side of Hinata’s hip that widens to his stomach. She leans forward to examine it and approaches it with her fingers.

“What happened here?”

Hinata covers it up with his opposite side hand and puts up a finger to his mouth with the other and makes a small smile.

“It’s a secret.”

_XI. Yet, always, you forgive me._

Kageyama expected thirty pages of request forms, but what he got in from the printer was sixty pages. He held them in his trembling hands as horror went across his face and hoped for dear god to please not let his boss find out he made a silly mistake like this. His senior co-worker had walked past him, paused, and turned back to him.

“What’s wrong? You okay, Kageyama?”

“Uh, I-I accidentallyprintedoffdoubletheamountIwassupposedtofortherequestformsI’msosorry!”

“You printed double the amount?” Hinata clarified.

Kageyama vigorously shook his head up and down afraid of his consequences. Not only did he waste paper, he wasted ink and made a stupid mistake that should never exist in his life. Hinata put a hand on his back and soothed him.

“That’s okay. That’s not that big of a deal. Just give me half and when the boss asks me to print some off for him, I’ll use the ones you accidently printed off, okay?”

And with that, Kageyama handed half his copies to his co-worker and exhaled deeply.

_XII. As if you understand what’s going on, and you’re making up for_

Hinata and Kageyama have a larger age gap than most lifetimes in this one where Kageyama is a teacher and Hinata is his student. Considering he remembers being terrible in school in multiple lifetimes, he surprised himself by being actually decent and even managing to become a teacher, but perhaps that was because his school life was a dull one due to a lack of a certain spark of energy that used to always surround him. He teaches literature to second and third year students for he had found a strange fondness to kanji after finding out what his name meant. He has heard rumours at the school about himself from the female student body and every now and then, he receives cookies and chocolates from them. However, Kageyama can only view himself as an unwanted shadow that covers the earth.

In his second year class, he has a student that blinds him every class whether with his stupidity or his white teeth that sparkles. Kageyama finds him endearing and just simply loveable that he slowly starts to have a little light in his shadows. The student probably doesn’t know Kageyama appreciates since that’s his nature, but by the time the year ends, Kageyama has already been pulled out of the darkness and now sees the wonderful mountains.

_XIII. all the lifetimes which one of us doesn’t exist,_

Today is his first day of high school and he has already submitted his club application form for the school’s volleyball team and he has made it into the team smoothly with a newly acquainted student with glasses. The first few weeks aren’t bad; everything seems normal – almost too normal. As a couple of months went by, their team has competed in the tournament and participated with a joint training session with two other schools, but he felt like he was forgetting something. Whenever he practices by himself until late at night, he itches to toss the ball with accuracy and speed into a certain someone’s hand, except that someone isn’t there to spike it. He wonders why he doesn’t feel a whoosh of wind when that person runs up to the net to spike and he wonders why he doesn’t feel good when he tosses to that person for them to score a point: that person isn’t there. Kageyama starts to question if volleyball was ever this unenjoyably boring for him.

_XIV. and the ones where we just barely, never meet._

When Kageyama goes to high school as a first year, he hears rumours about a bold guy who graduated just before his year. He hears astoundingly amazing things about him, yet also the stupidly weird things he did as well. By the time first term is over, he knows that the bold graduate is named Hinata Shouyou and he is currently a university student at a culinary school. Kageyama always overhears the great culture festivals from before his years and the worse dishes he made the cooking club taste were peanut butter and mint and pickles and vanilla pudding. Kageyama doesn’t know whether to be glad a lunatic like him wasn’t in his year or not.

_XV. I hate those. I prefer the ones in which you kill me._

He’s never been held hostage in his life, but if he were to be, he thought he would be held hostage by a complete stranger. However that was not the case. In front of him were two police men with their guns held up level to their faces, pointing them at the man dressed in black next to me. The man in black held Kageyama in a side headlock, gun to the side of his head.

“Come any closer and he’s gone!”

The police tried to negotiate with the criminal calmly, but it obviously didn’t work: the gun by the side of his face kept being pressed further and further.

“Shoot me. I dare you.” Finally came out of my mouth. “I have no reason to live. Not in this life time, at least.”

I slightly turned my head to face the criminal with unruly hair and gave him a faint smile. Without a single second wasted, the trigger was pulled and the bullet shell fell to the ground. In the end, the man didn’t return his smile.

_XVI. But when all’s said and done, I’d rather surrender to you in other ways._

Born with a handsome face, he had many admirers. Yet his personality ruined his social skills. Never being able to force a smile or laugh and always failing to say a compliment. Kageyama still remembers the time when he meant to say “nice,” but the other had heard it as “knife.” That classmate never talked to him again. Anyways, what he was trying to say was that this encounter should have never happened. Kageyama had been stopped by a second year female student with a stack of filers in her hands. She had a camera dangling around her neck and a giant grin on her face.

“Hey! Would you like to join the Photography Club?”

“Uh…”

“Well, I guess we just take pictures and whatnot and – oh! For the school festival, we always make a zine book of our best photos taken and we take photos for students too!”

Trying to take in all the information and energy given to him, he freezes and creates a crease on his face. By this point, he’s already stopped sipping on his milk box.

“Well, it’s okay if you don’t want to.“

The female student scratches the back of her neck and plays with the back of her short curly hair.

Kageyama reaches out his hand for a flier and says, “No, I’ll join.”

With that, he receives a bright beam of smile in return.

_XVII. Even though each time, I know I’ll see you again,_

I always wonder Walking home together has been put into their schedules as if it were there in the first place. They sometimes stop by a corner store to get some meat buns in the fall and winter and ice cream in the spring and summer. They have chats along the entire walk about various subjects like skipping stones and they laugh and smile at each other throughout. At one point, Kageyama starts to think about what he would do if he weren’t walking home with Hinata. He would have ordered one pair too many of meat buns. He would walk home by himself the whole walk in silence – he would be alone.

_XVIII. is this the last time?_

He had a friend named Hinata Shouyou. They met at the age of three and have been stuck to each other like superglue since then. The two of them were inseparable. Hinata and Kageyama went to school together every morning and ate lunch together every day on the same location. He wished this would continue forever, but he knew they had a hurdle called ‘university’ in four years or so. However, he still hoped they could make it together till then. Except, an obstacle had come before them sooner and they had no choice but to follow through.

“Kageyama, we better meet again! At nationals!” was what they promised.

It’s been five years and Kageyama is in his second year of university. He waited, but they never met once since Hinata’s move. Their promise was just a broken mirror that stabbed them in the back.

_XIX. Is that really you?_

In all his lifetimes, Kageyama has never seen a Hinata that barely talks. Hinata is the kind of student who does their homework for every class on time. He eats lunch alone in the corner of the room, staring at the window and he goes home right afterschool. The two meet in junior high and Kageyama tries to befriend Hinata with his already lacking social skills. Their conversations never go very far or they don’t have one at all. Even if they pair up for gym classes, the atmosphere around them is eerily silent and awkward and when they do a lab together, nothing interesting happens except for the experiment itself. Kageyama wonders how long it’ll take to see Hinata’s true personality in this lifetime. A part of him achingly misses the cheery ball of sunshine that he’s so used to having around.

_XX. And what if you’re already perfectly happy_

There is a guy who comes to Crow’s Café every Thursday with a tiny girl with blond hair. They always study for an hour together and chat for another two. Kageyama sees them smile at each other and laugh in those three hours they spend together and it makes her chest have a little pang. She feels inferior to the small blond in every way. The blond is short and make her look cute when standing next to the guy whereas Kageyama is taller than him which ruins their whole image. The petite girl always has a part of her bangs clipped to the side with a star shaped pin and she wears frilly skirts and thigh high socks with round Mary Janes. Even her personality is adorable for she gets flustered and blushes easily. There is no way Kageyama could ever begin to compete with her, but when she sees the guy smile fondly at the blond, it makes her happy. She wouldn’t mind seeing more of his sincere smile.

_XXI. without me?_

Kageyama finishes his school life without the presence of Hinata spends his time searching for him desperately. In the end of his university years, he doesn’t manage to find Hinata and eventually gives up. He’s always known that Hinata was independent; he’s the kind of guy who can do anything if he sets his mind to it. He didn’t need anyone to get him back on track or help to protect his back. Kageyama knew that Hinata didn’t need someone to help him stand. Yet nobody knows that Kageyama needs him.

_XXII. Ah, but I don’t blame you; I’ll never burn as brilliantly as you. It’s only fair_

“Kageyama, what do I do? The wedding is starting in an hour. I- I’m not ready yet!”

Hinata is pacing around the room in her stunningly white wedding dress, nervously biting her nails. Her breathing is short and uneven and the only thing she can hear are the clacks of her high heels touching the marble floor.

“You’ll do fine. Look, you’re beautiful in this dress. Just relax and breathe.”

The bride holds her hands together on her chest and takes deep breaths in and out. She takes one final look in the enormous mirror in front of her and stands up straight.

“I can do this. I’m so ready for this.”

“Hinata, you are absolutely gorgeous in that dress. I know you can do this. You’re going to shine brighter than anyone else.”

_XXIII. that I should be the one_

Kageyama isn’t contracted with a label, but he likes to sing. So he does live shows at a coffee shop nearby his house fairly often. He sings his own songs that he wrote and plays his guitar as well. What drives him to write his own songs is someone he hasn’t met yet, but hopes to meet in the future. Kageyama has no idea what that person looks like, but he knows they have a warm, contagious laugh and a blinding smile; that’s all he needs to write. He may have other things to do, but he can’t help but sing out to that person that makes his heart beat furiously and wish they could hear him from wherever they are.

_XXIV. to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes_

They aren’t children anymore, but they are running up the hill to Hinata’s house as fast as they can without looking back. Kageyama can feel the cold wind swish past him sharply and feel the vibrations of his shouting. His heavy arms and legs are moving as fast as possible, but they don’t feel tired at all. All he can feel is the sensation of heat running through his whole entire body and his everlasting energy. In front of him is Hinata with his unruly hair sprinting with large steps. By this point, Kageyama’s already forgotten why or where they are running, but he feels as if he could chase Hinata to the top no matter what.

_XXV. until I find the one where you’ll return to me._

Kageyama is standing in Karasuno’s gym with the upperclassmen, waiting for the other new members. He’s holding a volley ball in his hands, staring at his feet. The upperclassmen are chatting about how they probably aren’t going to get lots of new members and whatnot. However, the gym doors open up to reveal a short student with bright orange hair and a huge grin adorned on his face. He has an application form in his hand that he proudly presents to a third year, introducing himself with a loud voice.

The last person Kageyama expected to see was that shorty from one of his junior high matches. But there he was, standing tall with his head held high. Kageyama doesn’t know why, but other than the hatred he feels towards the tiny student, he also feels warmth spreading from his chest. Whether it was relief or affection, he doesn’t know, but he does know it was this lifetime he had been waiting for; the lifetime where he and Hinata are meant to be. It felt like millions of years had went by just for Kageyama and Hinata land on this very one, but even if he had to go through over a hundred lifetimes, Kageyama knows it was worth it. After all, the Hinata in front of him is simply Hinata and nobody else.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. If you'd like to read the poem and see the artwork by Hwei Lim, this is the link - http://s2b2.livejournal.com/142934.html
> 
> Also, if you don't really understand number 12, the 'XII. As if you understand what’s going on, and you’re making up for,' I used their names as a source of idea. The idea I used is in this link - http://thehuggablecactus.tumblr.com/post/136114104536/literal-meanings-of-haikyuu-character-names


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